reviews/articles
ROBERT TEED'S ARTICLE ABOUT ME
We hear a lot these days about the power of creativity. When even a multinational
electronics company uses the exhortation ‘Go Create’, it’s
not surprising that the currency of creativity starts to feel somehow devalued.
But we should remember that the act of creating something is a powerful, almost
magical, thing.
Dolly Sen is a woman who has used the power of creativity to transform her life.
Now 36, Sen is - amongst many other things - a writer, performer, poet and film-maker,
and has just published her second book of memoirs, Am I Still Laughing? (Chipmunka
Press). This rich creative life, however, is only a recent transformation; and
it has been achieved against the odds, for Sen continues to share her mental
stage with the severe mental health problems that have accompanied her since
her first psychotic experience aged 14.
Following on from The World is Full of Laughter, Sen’s first book of memoirs
that ‘started out as a possible suicide note and ended up as a celebration
of life’, Am I Still Laughing? is a heartfelt cry for the better understanding
of ‘the mad’. It is also in turn funny, moving, wonderfully poetic,
savage and satirical.
Sen meets me to talk about life, art and madness in a Camberwell café
close to where she works voluntarily as a key member of Creative Routes, a mental
health charity run by, and for, the survivors of the mental health system. In
the words of their publicity, Creative Routes ‘aims to dissolve the stigma
of mental illness by encouraging the unique creativity of mad people’.
So is it good to get back that word ‘mad’? ‘We realised that
taking back language has empowered the gay and black movements’, Sen notes.
‘We wanted to do the same, to reappropriate the experience of being mad.
Madness is not just a biochemical thing’. This philosophy has not been
without problems. Creative Routes has had complaints from those who don’t
want to be labelled ‘mad’ – ‘those complaints are usually
from people early on in their psychiatric career’, Sen adds wryly.
It seems right that Sen has found a haven in Creative Routes, given that creativity
has in a way been her salvation. As she writes in Am I Still Laughing? ‘During
my worst depressions, writing gave me a reason to wake up in the morning…
Creativity for me was not only a personal expression but a way to connect with
the universe and to light its dark corners’.
Sen is adamant that her creativity and her madness ‘really are intermingled’:
‘When I’m writing poetry I have a voice that dictates the poem.
I’m just a typist, really’. She gives me a look, and smiles: ‘I
do edit it, though’. Sen’s poems (a recent collection, Eccentric
Fish, is also published by Chipmunka) are dazzlingly direct, evoking experiences
of psychosis that are both chillingly immediate and intensely lyrical. ‘I
only write poems about love and madness’, Sen jokes self-deprecatingly.
Talking to Sen one gains the impression of a woman totally in control of her
life, dynamically driving it forward with creative project after creative project
(poetry, documentary making, performance, playwrighting, filmmaking, publishing,
appearing on Radio 4’s ‘Between Ourselves’ – the list
really does seem to go on and on). So it is a shock to be reminded that Sen’s
madness holds her constantly in thrall, that ‘the beautiful flower that
is psychosis’ might bloom at any moment.
Sen’s ‘wobbles’, as she calls them, might manifest themselves
in early morning wakings to find herself ‘in a schizophrenic experience.’
In the past such wakings would have left Sen stuck helpless in her flat for
days, but years of practising Buddhism and skills more recently acquired through
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy mean that Sen is increasingly able to combat these
experiences – ‘I’m able to flip it,’ she says. ‘For
example, if I’m too paranoid to leave the house I can say, “It’s
better to go out than stay in here like this”.’ She makes it sound
easy, but it has taken her ten years to learn this strength of will.
Sen’s early years were dominated by abuse and mental distress, and she
had her first psychotic experience aged 14. For the next 7 years her life was
‘awful’, dominated by madness (psychosis, paranoia, not speaking,
self harm, suicidal urges). Then came a sort of deliverance through poetry –
‘I started reading the Beat poets – they were so different from
the white middle class English writers I knew – they really inspired me,
and things started to change.’
Even so it was a long, slow haul. And it took Sen to the brink of murdering
her alcoholic, abusive father before she discovered that there was another path
that she could choose to her life ‘now that suicide or homicide was no
longer a lifestyle choice’, as she disarmingly puts it in The World is
Full of Laughter. And so, taking encouragement from the Beats (‘Charles
Bukowski, Henry Rollins and Jack Kerouac taught me that I can write my life
any way I like’), Sen set about creating art from her life.
‘I think that because I don’t put my energies into hallucinations
and delusions’, Sen reflects, ‘that that energy needs to go somewhere
– into creativity, into comedy, into poetry, somewhere. I’ve turned
from being a negative person to being a more positive person and my anger’s
not there any more – the madness is still there, but not the anger.’
It has become a cliché to talk of people with ‘vision’, but
for Sen that word is actually appropriate. ‘I feel like there’s
two realities’, she admits. ‘I’m a bi-realitist – it’s
my reality, not other people’s. I realise most people don’t think
the way I do’. And like her fellow South London visionary William Blake,
who saw an angel in a tree on Peckham Rye, she does see things. ‘I might
be walking down the street and see the lollipop lady has angel wings’.
There is much for others to learn from Dolly Sen’s journey through life
– how creativity really can rescue you, how positive self-belief can sustain
you through even your darkest hours. As she writes in Am I Still Laughing: ‘Whatever
you do, it feeds the next moment. Negativity breeds more negativity; positivity
fuels more positivity… But there are always chances, apertures of light
and guidance, if you keep your eyes open’.
Details
The World is Full of Laughter, Am I Still Laughing? and Eccentric Fish are all
available through www.chipmunkapublishing.com
The World Is Full Of Laughter by Dolly Sen
“This book started out as a possible suicide note and ended up a celebration of life”. – Dolly Sen
"Raw, harrowing and compelling. This is a worthy addition to the new genre of mad memoirs."- Robert Dellar, Mad Pride
“The frankness and ironic humour kept me turning the pages. This is the book I’ll give to people who want to know what madness is really like.”– Liz Main, Mental Health Today
“Thought-provoking, stark, brutal and exhilarating”– Anne Mathie, Mind Out
“ An outstanding memoir about surviving childhood abuse and severe mental illness.” - Mind
“Dolly’s powerful and moving memoir tells her terribly difficult story in an astonishingly frank and honest way which, don’t ask me how, somehow manages a streak of irony and dare I say it, even humour. It is an incredibly honest and determined account to record her personal struggle with mental illness.” - Barry Watts, Mind.
“Dolly's memoir is a work of genius. Step aside Germaine Greer! Dolly's book and subsequent work in the film industry is providing real empowerment for women kind.”- Jason Pegler, founder of Chipmunkapublishing
"In all its rawness and humour, it is a vivid account. This book is a valuable contribution to the body of literature that has been written by Survivors of the psychiatric system." LTTV
"I defy anyone to read this book and not be moved." Ben Watson, Metamute
"This book is fabulous. She has created something I have never seen before." Rosemary Moore, Mental Magazine
"It is a book about hope and will be an inspiration to mental health survivors who read it." Cath Collins, Lambeth Mind
"When she was growing up, the only laughter that Dolly Sen heard was other people's. Living in an abusive and deprived environment she developed depression and psychosis as well as a physical health condition and spent years fighting thoughts of suicide and self-harm day and night.
Dolly's autobiographical account of her experiences of living with mental ill health is powerful, moving and acutely real. Despite being, for many years, in a state of hyper and unreality, Dolly is spot on in her observations of society and its collective fear and prejudice of people with mental health problems.
What comes across most of all in this book is Dolly's warmth, intelligence and ability to love those who have hurt her. This is much more than a book about mental illness, it is the fascinating life of a woman, who, against all the odds, has learnt to laugh." Sarah Bleach, SLAM Communications
The latest 'The World is Full of Laughter' review from Chris Barchard of the magazine 'Perceptions': 'She succeeds in doing something very difficult, which is to describe the process of going mad in an intergrated way... it is not a book for the squeamish and is completely unsentimental. However it is a book about hope, the conquest of adversity and forgiveness that should be an inspiration and a lesson to all of us.'
READ AN INTERVIEW DOLLY DID FOR BBC NEWS ABOUT PSYCHIATRIC WARDS
Name of Article:Laughter Piece
Publication:Launchpad Magazine
I’ve recently written a ‘mad’ memoir about my experiences with child abuse and severe mental illness. So people are puzzled when I tell them the title of the book: The World is Full of Laughter. That’s a strange choice of title of a book that is soaked in pain, they say. But part of my recovery was learning how to laugh at my pain. Woody Allen once said, “Tragedy plus time equal comedy”, and I’m beginning to agree with him. In fact, I think pain is the only thing we humans laugh at, because we have to.
Just think of a mental health professional you have no time for, tripping over in the street and falling face first into some doggy doo. There’s a smile creeping on your face, isn’t there? What psychiatric drug can equal laughter? Make 2003 the year of your laughter. Forget about 2003 being a new year, every breath is a new life, another chance to start afresh. Too many mental health service users lose their friends to suicide. Society’s prejudice, cruel childhoods, lonely mental distress, and an inequitable mental health system stole their laughter. Don’t let it take yours. Being a patron has certainly put a smile on my face!
By Dolly Sen, patron of Launchpad, service user & author of “The World is full of Laughter”
Name of Article: Writing Well
Publication: South London Press, 10 th October 2003
The fact that one in four people suffer from mental health problems at some point in their lives is surprising to some. But not to Dolly Sen. the Streatham author knows exactly what it’s like to survive serious mental illness – she’s written a book about it.
Today is World Mental Health Day, so Dolly told health reporter Jon Ryder why she wanted her story to be heard
Dolly Sen says her book, The World is Full of Laughter, started out as a suicide note, but ended up saving her life. She was 14 when she had her first psychotic experience, forcing her to drop out of school. After that she was hospitalised twice, tried to kill her, and was diagnosed with manic depression and schizophrenia. Perhaps that’s not the sort of thing people are expected to admit, but Dolly, now 32, disagrees and that’s why she put it all on paper. “The truth is painful but it has got to be said. Your life shouldn’t be a dirty secret. “People with mental health difficulties are embarrassed about it because there is such a stigma attached.”
She said most people only find out about mental illness when someone is attacked, but if there is more awareness, perhaps things wouldn’t get that far. “I attempted suicide a couple of times and I know I wouldn’t be alive today if I didn’t have the chance to tell my story.” And she is proud her book has helped others cope.
“People have told me it has brought about a positive change in their lives and that’s the best thing you can hear.”
Dolly, of Hailsham Avenue , has travelled the country speaking to other sufferers and plans to tour South London schools to educate youngsters because she said she had no idea what was happening to her when she was a teenager. And with suicide rates among young people on the increase, she says people need to realise they are not alone. “It is difficult enough being young in this world, but much worse to have mental health difficulties as well. Things can get better with support from professionals or from family.” ‘The World is Full of Laughter’ is available from www.chipmunkapublishing.com or by order from bookshops.
Name of Article: The World is full of Laughter
Publication: Government’s Mindout Campaign
Campaign ambassador, Dolly Sen, has published her moving memoirs. ‘The World is Full of Laughter’ is an inspiring story of Dolly’s experience of her mental illness and her use of laughter to help her overcome even the most painful of situations. This frank account is a commanding read. You will not be able to put the book down as you accompany Dolly on a roller coaster of emotions. It is a harrowing story, but you’ll see it is Dolly who has the last laugh. In Dolly’s own words, “This book started out as a possible suicide note and ended up a celebration of life.”
‘The World is Full of Laughter’ has been published by Chipmunkapublishing. Chipmunkapublishing and its sister charity, Equal Lives, have been set up by survivor and writer Jason Pegler, and seek to help all people who suffer from mental stress. Log onto www.chipmunkapublishing.com to read the opening chapter of ‘The World is Full of Laughter’ and for more information on other titles published by Jason. You can also order books from the site.
Name of Article: The World is Full of Laughter
Review Publication: Mental Health Today.
There’s been a lot of laughter in Dolly Sen’s world, but not much of the kind worth celebrating. She learned the world was playing a joke on her pretty early on in life. Indeed she began this autobiography as a suicide note, but somewhere along the way real laughter crept in and the book turned into a celebration of life as well as a memoir of madness.
The book describes Sen’s journey from her abusive childhood in South London (she describes being an extra in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ and how she thought it was a documentary) through psychiatric wards and care in the community, narrowly avoiding Broadmoor, and how she learns to stand up to her violent father and cope with her manic depression.
It covers some tough territory – ‘Honesty is atrociously painful,’ as Sen notes – but it isn’t a hard read. It isn’t for the fainthearted or those who don’t like swearing, but the frankness and ironic humour kept me turning the pages. I did laugh and I cried, and this is the book I’ll give to people who want to know what madness is really like. But it’s also a book about forgiveness and recovery and finding a reason to laugh out loud, and that’s what makes it stand out.
Liz Main
Name of Article: ‘The World is full of Laughter’ Review by Anne Mathie
Publication: Mind Out. The World is Full of Laughter.
Dolly Sen is a remarkable person. Persecuted at an early age by a father just for being born, Dolly learned to absorb the abuse and the violence and became subservient and eventually mentally ill. I felt horrified imagining the punches her father landed on her small frame and shocked as she later contemplates killing him.
She grew up with her musician/film extra/alcoholic father constantly dragging the family down, learned to be her mother’s ears and the helper and protector of her siblings. She had a life no different from the family dog. From an early age her father beat and berated her.
There are few moments in Dolly’s early years where she was content, but when she was, it had nothing to do with other people. As an extra on ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, seeing the various aliens and monsters, she thought it was a documentary.
Her illness developed and quickly took hold and, yet again, Dolly was suffering. This time, a new suffering from within, to the point where I thought it would consume her entirely but her resilience and self-preservation kicked in. Now Dolly is an independent woman with everything going for her, except her illness, but even that has made her the compassionate forgiving, shining person she has become. She shows her contempt for the establishment and you tend to agree with her, the profanity doesn’t touch you because Dolly’s anguish already has. She succeeds because of that contempt.
I can’t say enough about this account, it was thought-provoking, stark, brutal and exhilarating. It takes you on a roller-coaster of emotions, her poems haunted me. I found myself re-reading them for an understanding of how someone feels who is so low. Well worth the read.
Anne Mathie
Name of Article: Dolly Sen Writes for Mental Health Today about “The World Is Full of Laughter”
Publication: Mental Health Today.
I say of my book that it started out as a suicide note and ended as a celebration of life. How could that be? Writing your life story does so much for you. It gives you the opportunity to reflect, it empowers you because you have nothing to hide any more. I have said to people, with my book in my hand: 'I can close the book on my painful past now.' This may sound flippant but a strange thing happened when I first read my book after it was published. When your pain is inside you, along with your bad memories, it is easy to self-hate. But when I read my book, I felt an immense empathy for all the characters in my book, even for myself, and I had a better understanding and respect for my life. I went through shit, made a lot of mistakes, but I could see I was only human, a person with the right to be happy, who could laugh and love.
Also, it's so cool to sign copies of the book for people and to hear people say that reading the book helped them. That's the best thing about it and makes me glad of writing a book that I had thought once maybe exposed too much.
During my worst depressions writing gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. Would I still have carried on writing if I never was published? Of course I would. One of my favourite writers, Charles Bukowski, said of writing: “It is the last expectation, the last explanation, that's what writing is.” A plain piece of paper won't judge you, criticise you. And above all it won't lie to you. If you can't say what needs to be said face to face, write it down.
People with mental health problems who are able to should think about either writing their story or at least telling it. Their lives shouldn't be what they think are dirty secrets they have to hide. One woman shook her head sadly and said: 'I can't, it's too painful. And besides, nobody wants to hear it.' That's what I thought once. I now know that to be untrue. People, men and women, young and old, rich and poor, have taken me aside after reading my book and say, sometimes with tears in their eyes: 'This happened to me too... but please don't tell anyone that it did.' This is painfully sad. Because I think if you don't share it positively, it'll manifest somewhere else, in your body, in your relationship to others and the world. For example, it can be seen in some people's eyes; they try to smile, but their eyes don't believe it. Their eyes are telling their story - something about their life always will. So you might as well have some control over it.
For me creativity gave me control in a world where, because of a diagnosis, I had no control. A South American poet said: 'Take away someone's creativity and you take away their humanity. Give someone back their creativity, and you give back their life.' I found this to be true while writing my story, and every day after too. My creativity is my lifeline. As long as I can create I can live deeply. Chipmunka's books have saved lives. It certainly saved mine.
Dolly Sen
REVIEWS FOR DOLLY SEN'S POETRY
"She is a superb, contained performer and a curiously magical poet. This comic layering of real and surreal is something Sen is well-versed in." Simon Jenner, Survivors Poetry
"Fucking intense!" Jason Pegler, Author of 'A Can of Madness'
"Exellent poetry." Fred Wheeler, Indie Journal
"A bittersweet combination of pain, humour, and sharp observation." Yan Weaver, Lambeth Mind
"Touching, and of a profound nature." The Heard
“Fantastic stuff … strangely reminiscent
in its composition of Bukowski's
'Septuagenarian Stew'.
Ted Curtis, author of ‘By Theft and Murder'.
“Very humorous and ironic, excellent work.”
Magpie Marx, Launchpad
“Dolly, you have a fine sense of delivery,
wit, & imagery.”
Joshua Hamilton, Beyond the Pail
Of the poem 'Family Album, Andrew Motion said, "A powerful piece of work."
"Dolly's evocative words bring opposites into a union of feeling... I am transported." Yvonne Poulson, Southwark Mind
"A nihilistic warcry against 9-5ism, spattered with the blood of mediocre idols." Jazzclaw Books
"It is a dark book with strong and sometimes
troubling images which confront meaning and preconceptions." Jim
Bennett, The Poetry Kit
THE OBLIVION EVANGELIST - A novel by Dolly Sen
“Sen presents herself full-frontally, not pulling any punches with her stark, sharp prose. This is an enjoyable pulp romp.” Jerome de Groot, Book Munch
”What a gorgeous writer. Able to tell a horrific story. Delightful.” Teasalweasel Blogspot
“Wasn't possible, or so I thought. Dolly Sen manages to bring to life
a book about a woman who is so hateful of the human race that she decides to
go and kill some of them. Actually, a lot of them; violently, hideously, with
rage.
Never once does she lose sight of an important fact - if you write about the
bad stuff at least make it funny. And this she does to an amazing degree. The
Oblivion Evangelist is a bloody comedy with a great twist at the end. “
Amazon.co.uk Customer Review
"Brit transgressive author Dolly Sen has an intense, honest violent streak that recalls Quentin Tarantino, Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk and the grandmaster of all murder-minded transgressives: Fyodor Dostoevsky." Levi Asher, Litkicks